Monday, June 6, 2011

The joys of old age

Are there any? Joys of old age?

I was 39 on my last birthday. Honest to God. Because the year I was going to turn 40 I canceled my birthday and I haven't had another one since. Instead we celebrate cake day every year, because you gotta have cake, right? Or International Tiara Day, or Aldersgate Day, or Victoria Day. Anything but a birthday.

Anyway, if I still celebrated birthdays, this one would have been a biggie. I'd be officially old, at least by some standards. And take it from one who's been dealing with an elderly mother AND an elderly mother-in-law, old age sucks. Bigtime.

So if I actually were old, how would I deal with it?

"Put me in a home," I tell my girls, over and over again. "You don't even have to come visit me. Don't let me be a burden to you. Just make sure I have internet."

I hope that I'll still have enough sense left to get myself into a senior place that will give me whatever care I need. My mom did, with a little encouragement and help from my sister. But the thought of living to almost 95, like my mom has, scares me to death.

In the meantime, I'll just pretend I'm not old. I'll work at the church, drag myself to the gym, hang out on the internet, and read and read and read, just the way I've been doing.

And hey, the good news is, I'm not old enough to collect social security yet. So even though I qualify for a senior citizen discount at some restaurants, I'm not REALLY old yet.



  1. If I answer, are you going to clip me round the ear with your walking stick?

  2. Not to fret. That sounds too much like work. I suspect she'd just bat you about the head with a wadded up Depends, eh.